Mind the battlefield
“How are you “I typed. And then the ink smudged with a tear drop. A pain that runs through your veins, to your heart and makes you feel paralyzed, incapable to comprehend, unable to retaliate, you just sit motionless, suffocating suppressing your scream of despair. Tribulation that has been building up within you, explodes with words, “how are you”.
“I am strong” a meek voice speaks in the mind. “I am strong enough for pretense. I can smile, look good, work efficient and held my head high. That’s all what I need now to survive.”
“Really?” my conscious asks again.
My brain tries to outsmart and says “yes, may be a rush of dopamine is what my body needs now, to make me feel high, to indulge myself and be delighted with materialistic shallow pleasures of life. This is just a phase. Soon it will be alright and I will enjoy my solace.”
My conscious today has decided not to sit quiet like it usually does, some external unknown force is awakening it to utter these words and it blabbers again, “Solace is beautiful if you live your life like a sage. But the world you live in surrounded by belongingness and attachments, how long will you keep yourselves afloat, with the charade “I am fine “?”
“Don’t irk me “the mind outrages.” Attachments, belongings, make you weak. True I am not a sage, but I am not a fool either. Surrounded by emotional bonding I live in, but we all need to evolve, so will I. I will learn to live without dependence of any kind. That’s what is called survival instincts, isn’t it?”
Conscious smirks and says “yes evolution is good. But are you sure, your plan sounds to me like devolution. Tuning yourself to be a robot, doesn’t sound exciting to me. Living such a trite life sounds so uninteresting. What kind of consolation is this, could you explain?”
Mind who always feels superior to the inner consciousness says it loud again” I don’t need to explain it all. So just keep quiet”
Conscious reluctantly obeys.
And then pain in the heart aggravates, body trembles, eyes flooded, fists clenched tight, lips bitten hard, I gather the courage to type again.” All is fine, it’s a great day” my fingers move fast and story flows uninterrupted.
Serendipity 